I HAVE BURIED TWO HUSBANDS! AM I CURSED?

I sat in the mortuary lobby waiting for the mortician to give me details of the bills for my husband’s dead body lying in the cold room. I have been here before; yes, I have. Few years ago I sat at another mortuary’s lobby waiting for the mortician to bring my bills so that I can pay, pick up my dead husband, move him (it) to the burial ground and bury.

My sad life needs no envy. I am barely 50 years of age yet I have buried 2 husbands. I am severely convinced that I am cursed. Before I judge myself, let me quickly share my sorry story and leave you to be the judge. When I was much younger, I dated a guy back then in my university days and we were really in love. We did everything together and all my friends and all his envy us because we won best couple twice before graduating from the university.

We graduated together and started planning to settle down as soon as we get work. I served and got a very good paying job in multinational. Jide didn’t get a job and he was fast becoming unattractive to me because I had a picture in mind of the kind of man I wanted to marry. I tried to sustain the relationship but before I knew it, I started dating another guy in my office. Jide noticed that I have changed and tried to make me remember what we shared back then in the university. I began to enjoy the new relationship I was in and I simply damned all consequences when I broke it to Jide that I was going to marry Emeka since he was not ready to do the needful.

Jide was devastated and with tears in his eyes, he reminded me the impact he made in my life while we were still in school. How he paid for my second year tuition fee (my father had financial issues then and couldn’t pay it), how he helped me with assignments while his own grades suffered. Jide reminded me of how he practically stopped living his own life just to make mine better and since he couldn’t live up to my own present status doesn’t mean I should leave him. He needed more now than ever. We both cried that night but deep in my heart I knew I couldn’t stay with him again. I gently told him ‘Jide, I am truly sorry but I can’t be with you any longer. Emeka has proposed to me and I want to marry him’.

Jide smiled, nodded and after starring at me for a few minutes, he cursed me. I could feel the fire in his eyes and the anger that boiled in his heart. He said as long as he is not happy, that I can never find happiness. He left my apartment that night and I felt a strange thing. As soon as he left, I felt terribly miserable and for a week it persisted but I shoved it aside. I married Emeka after 9 months and it was a glorious one. I got promoted severally so I made a lot of money. Emeka wasn’t doing so badly too.

One morning after I have finished preparing my family for work and school, Emeka just slumped and without warning, died! I have never experienced something like that before. Till date the doctors could not specifically tell me what went wrong.

After 2 years, with 2 kids, I met Bayo and we started courtship. He liked me for who I am and although his mother was against us getting married (he had never married or have children and I was with 2 kids already), Bayo went ahead and married me. I saw hell with my mother in law. She was on my neck from the very first day I stepped into Bayo’s life and after some researching she came into how house one fateful Saturday morning, ready for battle. I was already 7 months pregnant for her son.

“Cursed woman, please leave my son for me. Don’t kill my son for me. They have told me about you and before you kill my son, I will kill you first.” Bayo tried to stop her but she went on and on. After it all subsided, those words kept ringing in my head for months. I remembered Jide and I cried. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and Bayo was super excited. The mother though didn’t stop bugging but the hatred and fight subsided for a while.

On the first birthday of our daughter, while Bayo was running up and down trying to get stuffs for her party, he had an accident and died instantly. When the news got to me I couldn’t cry. Jide flashed in my mind and I became paralysed instantly.

Here I am, picking up his corpse as I did for Emeka and looking at my life behind and before me, I don’t know where or who to turn to. People said I should go and beg Jide for forgiveness but the last I heard of him was that he travelled out and we lost contact completely. MAB readers, please help me, I don’t know what to do.