My Son Wants To Know His Father, But…

As I write this, I am in tears and I just want people to listen to my story and help me make the right decision. My name is Mabel (not real name) and I am a 52 years old woman. I got married as a virgin in the 80's and my husband used to be very loving, caring and fond of me.

He worked in one of the new generation bank back in the 80’s and he was very industrious and hardworking; growing rapidly in his career and we were just generally happy. After our marriage, I couldn't conceive for 4 years and my mother-in-law would always told me not to worry that God was on the throne.

But my husband’s father was the thorn on my back. He would come to our house then in Ishiagu, Ivo LGA Ebonyi State, former Abia State and threaten to throw me out of the house if I don’t produce a child for his son and soon. I was frustrated and we tried all we could but couldn't achieve child birth When the 4^th year came, the heat was turned up even hotter and I couldn't stand it anymore.

I took a step that was my biggest mistake (depending on how I saw it at the time); I packed my stuffs and left my husband’s house. My father in law was appalled beyond measure and he ranted uncontrollably. My mother in law understood and came looking for me at my father’s house (he was late at the time), begging me to come back but I was not ready to suffer such psychological trauma. My husband also came once to see me and wasn't really convincing enough for me to follow him back.

After 4 weeks away from my matrimonial home, I discovered that I was pregnant and rather than being happy, I experienced the greatest depression ever. I didn't tell my husband about my new condition, I didn't tell my father in law, I didn't even tell my own mother or people. I was at the lowest ebb of my life and I felt rejected and alone. After few more weeks, my mother in law died; she was the only one I could have confided in yet she died before I could utter a word.

I saw my world crumble before me because now people will think I got pregnant through infidelity. I woke up one morning, packed my bags and stuffs and I was off to Lagos with nowhere to stay. I just heard that Lagos was a good place and in the 80’s it was relatively peaceful and hospitable.

My Lagos journey is a story for another day but one way or the other I met someone who heard my story and pitied me. She took me in, helped me with admission into Teachers College to further my education and gave me something productive to do whilst I await my first child. Whether my husband searched for me or not, I didn’t care. I gave birth to Charles, my prince and he looked so much like his father. He reminds me, even up until now that an apple can never fall far from the tree.

We carried on with our lives in Lagos and I raised my boy the best I could. Occasionally he asked about his father when he was much older (because I refused to remarry) and I would just cook up a story for him.

I rose in my teaching career too and today I am a principal in one of government’s model college. My boy is now a young man in his own right and he asks even frequently about his father but not violently. I think he notices mood change once the topic is brought up but I also know that deserves to know the truth.

Please people, what should I do? He is now 25 years of age, out of the University and about to start working in a Hi-Tech firm. I made sure he bare his father’s surname but he complains that people ask him about his father and he can’t seem to defend the name or represent it as much as he wants to.

The issue is still fresh in my mind. I don’t want to face my past again and I am not ready to take him to the village and my husband’s place. I don’t know what to expect, what they can do to me for absconding with their son. Will they even believe me if I say this is their son? Will they call him a bastard and disgrace us? So many questions and my head is blank. Can’t we just remain the way we are? I have given him everything he wants in life. At 25, he is a Masters Degree holder in Computer Sciences from reputable University. is it so important that he meets and knows his father that have never been in his life? Please MAB readers, I need answers.