Single at 40? What were You Waiting for?

I am an ardent listener of Inspiration Fm 92.3 but that is partly because I was lured there by my best OAP so far, Dan Foster. And since he left and started City FM, I have been glued to the station because of its family orientation and the other fantastic OAP’s like Wana Wizzle, CharlesDallas, Eyo Henry, Ruffy da Fire and Ayo the sportscaster that are doing great just to mention a few.

My wife and I would listen to the station all through our drive home and we would engage ourselves in the discussions on air, sharing our views; most times in tandem and other times in disagreement.I even call in sometimes, especially on Wana Wana 'Traffic Tips' or Ayo's 'Sport Discourse'. One thing I will never understand is why my wife hates one of the shows so much that once the program starts by 8:00pm I am always ‘ordered’ to change radio station.

Ego’s programme is kinda awkward to me as it disdains my wife and for several reasons I will like to mention here. Ego’s show starts at 8pm and she allows listeners to call in, talk about themselves and drop their contacts for a potential romantic relationship. People will call in most of the time and she finds it hard to get genuine information from them because of the obvious; Fake people surround us everywhere.

But that is not even the reason for this article. Last night, while driving alone from church, after Wana Wana’s ‘Sharing Life Issues’ program, Ego’s ‘Night Shift’ started and because I was alone in the car, I decided to listen to it for the first time. Then the first caller called in; a lady who she said she was 40 years of age. The second and third caller called in and both were females and both also 40 years old. The text messages Ego later read was of a man who also was 40 years of age and that was where my suspicion started.

How can everyone calling into this show today be 40 years of age? Is the show doctored? Is it genuine? And what are chances that unsuspecting listeners fall prey to con artist in the name of finding romantic relationships? How important and relevant is this show in a family radio station and to her community of listeners? When I answered these questions in my mind, I knew it was time to write about it.

First thing first, how do you become so old (40 years of age is old for me) so much that you didn't marry at the appropriate time? This is not to sneer at anyone unmarried yet because even one of my sisters married at the age of 40. This is to reason out why despite the fact that someone wants to marry s/he can’t find a suitable suitor and wife to make his or her own.

The reasons aren’t far-fetched. One reason could be waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right. The second could be disillusionment about the institution of marriage. The third reason could be chasing career path rather than balancing social, spiritual and career path to get an even lifestyle. I know some people want to see spiritual problem as hindrance to not getting married early but I won’t add that as a reason. You can add it yourself if you really feel that’s the case but the holy book told me that nobody shall lack his or her partner as long as the Lord lives.

So to me, the reasons for not getting a life partner early in life is basically self inflicted. I have spoken to several ladies that their purpose of wanting to get married is mind blowing. Some talk about the looks of the man. “He should be tall, dark, drive a car and work in a multi-national” and I am like HOLY MOSES!

How can that ever be the reason you want to marry? Expectations are super high and no wonder ladies like that either marry late or marry the wrong type of people. My sister married late because she was always in the company of the wrong men. I remember my mom always scolding her and telling her to desist from such men who have shown high potency of instability and irresponsibility. But you know women now? She didn’t listen and just like they say, ‘the words of elders, if it doesn’t come true in the morning, it surely will come to pass in the evening’.

Not until she left for England that she found a responsible Nigerian British doctor that married her. Marriage is sacred but every relationship should be allowed the ‘Wright’ space to blossom. And I used wright because building a relationship is like building a ship. The stronger the material, the less likely water will trickle in. Calling a radio station to find love is the most absurd thing any individual can do and the most absurd show a radio station especially of such repute can indulge in. if a person can’t find love in the sphere of his immediate circle or the sphere of his secondary circle, I seldom see what kind of relationship a blind and deaf date like a radio’s match making service can render.

This show will encourage randy men to take advantage of non-suspecting female callers and if the station can’t show us 20 such cases of callers that have successfully married each other from the show in the last one year, then the show should be scrapped! They shouldn’t assume that only adults listen to the program, little kids listen to Inspiration FM everyday and every time. I am sure Ego can always come up with new and exciting show that will carry better value and important messages than the one she is presently engaging in.

I think she has one of the sweetest voice on radio (although my wife largely disagrees) she can do something better biko.

So if you are 40 years of age and yet to be married (men and women), I wish you the best of luck in your search but a place like the ‘asoromagbesi’ will not do you much good if you are looking for something genuine and sincere. Why don’t you start from a place on your knee (prayer); then gradually change your thought pattern and lifestyle; maybe, just maybe you will find someone that will fit into that kind of vision you have for a life partner.

I wish you the best of luck.