ON DIVORCE AND THE DOCTRINES THAT SUITS MEN (OF GOD)

My favorite lecturer Tunji Azeez once said to me, ‘Fola, if you must break a rule, then you must know the rule’. That is a salient point for me every time I look at loopholes in life. Because we are humans, our first instinct is to selfishly harness loopholes that suit us in our affairs with self, others and the supernatural.

Let me not begin to sound philosophical right now and scare you off. The rate of divorce in the church as it stands is astonishing and the sole culprits regrettably are the men (of God) who should be preaching against it. For whatever reasons that they need to be away from their wives, as the case may be, the most important thing is that they must not remarry as the bible has rightly instructed.

Now, because these men (of God) have become so used to God (at their own detriment), they have found sweet measures in not only breaking the rules but also rubbing it in the face of the people they lead (and the ones that has refused to be led by their wanton deceits).

Since the bible is the forte of the men of God and the script with which their messages and as such their lives must be ‘strictly’ modeled after, this scripture is very instructive. Matthew 19:8-9 says “He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery." This is as clear as anything can be. If you need to divorce, do it but you must NEVER remarry.

But I will break the heart of the so called men of God now because as a matter of fact, their own rules are even very stringent and different from that of the nominal believer/christian. They are not allowed to DIVORCE! Ask me why? I will tell you, and this is just my own submission, not necessarily what they would want to hear anyways because they love to say the truth but they hate to hear it.

They are not allowed to divorce because as Paul, who didn’t marry says in 1^st Timothy 3:2-7, “A Bishop (Pastors, Church and Spiritual leaders) must be BLAMELESS, the husband of one WIFE, “vigilant”, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality, apt to teach; Not given to wine, no striker (should never beat his wife), not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; One that rules his house well, having his children in subjection with all gravity;” and in verse 7 it says “Moreover must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil”.  Isn’t that what is happening to Christendom today? Rather than having good report from people of the world, our pastors now are compared and in competition with rock stars and worldly personalities in the race for who has slept with most church members (followers) and how many has divorced as many times as possible. It is appalling and unacceptable!

Note that Jesus was talking to people who hated him and came to ‘tempt’ him in that scripture of Matthew 19; and in verse 3 they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?” and after Jesus had tried to let them realize that that wasn’t God’s original plan for a couple, they insisted saying, in verse 7 “Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement and to put her away?”. Jesus instantly understood that these ones didn’t come to learn from Him, they came to scorn him and look for loopholes in his ministry.

Thus the answer he gave them in verse 8 and 9. So any pastor in today’s modern day ministry that has divorced his wife, especially Pentecostal pastor (and I am not segregating) is guilty of being fake, sinful and carnal. This is a harsh assessment but the truth is, if our religion today is supposed to be all about Jesus and the Holy Spirit, be rest assured that divorce or separation is never part of what must be allowed in the church, not to talk of it being perpetrated by the ones who supposedly are to ‘feed the sheep’.

Not to deny the fact that the work of the ministry is very tedious and extremely chaotic but if one is truly called, then such must have been equipped with tools to serve and have we all forgotten that ‘His grace is always sufficient?’ he will not give you temptation that you can’t bear. So if a pastor for whatsoever reason refuse to seek the face of God properly concerning his marriage and relies on ego and power drunk tendencies to come to a drastic conclusions, then he’s not worthy to lead and feed the flock in the first place.

What happens to forgiveness? What happens to love? What happens to reconciliation? We can’t afford to allow our pastors preach what they want us to hear and not hold them accountable to what God wants them to hear. But the truth is they are simply playing into the hands of the devil if they act like they are far above corrections. We are helping them actually if we don’t just let stuffs like this sly and we try to ignore it saying, ‘touch not my anointed and do my prophet no harm’ when they are daily loitering our eyes and ears with garbage.

It is also hypocritical to preach about tithes and offering and blessing the prophets and fleeing fornication/adultery and forgiveness yet our Christian leaders are indulging in it. Read what my bible says in Ephesians 5:16, ‘Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of God is’. The will og God is not so hard to know, it is fully embedded in the bible. Mal 2:16 is the will of God, no matter how we try to paint it (and that even came before the dispensation of Grace), ‘For the Lord God of Israel says he hates putting away (divorce)…’ what God hates, He hates; there’s no point trying to paint it in any other colour. And polygamy is not an option; it was never in the original master plan.

The danger now is that 2^nd Tim 3:1-5 is coming full circle. According to Jide Ojo’s blog, he says “What is the way out for the clergy? I think they need to watch and pray. They need to come to terms with their weaknesses and try to seek help on time before they are destroyed by their foibles. I like pastors who have taken preemptive measures of not going on visitation without their wives and who counsel people in the open and if in private, in the company of their wives, particularly when counseling ladies. I also appreciate churches that encourage congregants to dress modestly and decently. Beyond these, the congregations need to pray for their pastors. Indeed, we are what we are by God’s divine grace.” 

And I add that we need to also keep them accountable for what they go on the alter to say; ditto Pastor Chris Oyakilome, Pastor Chris Okotie, Pastor Ighodalo, Pastor Detrick Haddon and a host of other men of God who have put away (divorced) their wives. Thank God Pastor Benny Hinn has taken back his own wife, I love that man though.

Shalom!