Single @ 40? (Part 2)

So I wrote this piece where I tried to give personal opinion on public radio activity and for the first time (not in my life actually) someone wrote me through my linkedin page (at hindsight, I’m grateful that she didn't put it on my page or comment section for public viewing, I for cry… lol) criticizing my style of writing and blamed me for the problem in Nigeria… huh, like seriously?

She told me I was acting like God; because I got married I won't allow people to rest, i'm using my new status to intimidate the yet to be married (Shuuuoooo!). She said I was behaving like someone who just got a PhD in ‘Marriageology’ and wouldn't allow them rest. for my mind, I actually thought I was inspiring people ***sob***. I was angry and I replied her in kind letting her know that it was all a personal muse and it should really not mean much to her or anybody that doesn't care.

She kept coming at me with the dagger and told me words that scared even me. She related the article to my inability to possibly train my child(ren) well and said it’s because of people like me that we have bad leaders in the country with my ‘shallowness’ in thought and by extension my writing. Yeah, I had that same expression on my face when I read her message in my inbox too and after one or two banters with her, I realized that I shouldn't have replied her in kind and that I should actually be grateful for her opinion because if I wanted to grow in the art of writing, I have to accept critics as part of the process.

Then in a twist, I sent her a message apologizing for what I said about her which was ungentlemanly. I had told her that it is because she was still single at 40 that it must have hit her hard (the article) and that that probably was the reason she isn't married yet (her bad behavior) but that was unnecessary. So I apologized, told her that it was unchristian of me to have said the things I said and I was bent on not replying her again. She replied me in kind and although didn't apologize to me for what she said earlier but her tone became calmer.

Three things I quickly learnt from that experience; 1) you don’t deal with women issues with levity. 2) My articles are not personal anymore and I have to begin to learn how to ‘balance’ thought processes especially those ones that are controversially inclined. That might mean that my articles won’t be raw from my head but well ‘pancake(d)’ for public viewing (isn't that what the public want?). 3) Critics will become fiercer as your writing gains publicity either through notoriety or proficiency. And you must be well prepared and ready.

She wasn't the only one that actually disagreed with the article; a female friend also didn't agree with what I wrote. But she was subtle and less abusive about it and I was able to have my way with superior argument. But this lady critic (she is a writer too) gave me a show down… mtscheww, I’m still having shivers from that long chat… lol.

So, last night, as I drove home from church (remember the first article was inspired after listening to the show last week Tuesday) the show was on and a lady called in complaining. If not for yesterday’s program, I wouldn't have written this rejoinder. I was not prepared to talk about it again but for last night.

The lady called into Ego’s show (radio blind dating show) and started complaining of falling into the wrong man’s hand because she gave her number on the show! Ahaaaaaaaa! I didn't know that we have victims already. She was bitter about the whole experience and wanted Ego to remove her number from air so that no one will try and call her again. (((Gbam)))

What followed next was amazing; Ego’s voice changed from that sweet On Air Personality voice into something animated. I have never heard her voice inherently laden with anger and disgust for the innocent caller. She blamed the caller for falling victim to fraudulent men and told her she or the radio station will not be held responsible for any unfortunate incidence caused as a result of the show!

WAIT A MINUTE! ‘This can’t be true’, I said to myself. How can Ego and Inspiration FM totally abdicate this innocent woman’s complaints when they created the platform for her to be duped? In saner climes, this case will go to the court and you can be absolutely sure that the victim will win the case. If people can win cases against government/corporate organizations for falling down on the road because it had potholes or because it's wet, then this would be a good case in the US or UK. Why? Because you promised her that on the ‘show’, she can find love and happiness, meeting the spouse of her dreams. But what she found was a dupe, con artist and pain. So, why should you; madam OAP Ego and your organization Inspiration FM not be held responsible for that?

I am not anti-feminist (one of the words the critic used) and I am not against a lady finding love through whatever quarters she can even if it is through the radio. But when we weigh the pros and cons and the cons far outweigh the pros, then it is not worth it. The number of randy men out there is unbelievably high and I hope at the end I won’t have to say ‘I told you guys so?’

I have interviewed some single ladies concerning the show and ALL of them said they can never call into the show and give their contacts because of safety purposes. This are ladies well into their 30's. They also saw it as absurd looking for love on radio. Even my critic said she doesn't like or listen to the show.

I am sorry but someone has to do the unsavory job of calling a spade a spade and I am that person it passionately fell on. You can’t expect everyone (I'm now speaking for the ladies **wink**) listening to the show to be matured enough and instinctive as to selecting the right ‘MAN’ through  some kind of phoneversation. Some men can be very deceitful and just to have their way will deceive the woman till their aim is done. I have heard tales of guys staying unreal till marriage and then they reveal their true self.

I still believe that the immediate circle or the sphere of her secondary circle should be the source for a meaningful long term relationship. Of course, they will be some exception to the rule but exceptions can’t, and I repeat, exceptions can’t become the rule. It even looks, sometimes like desperation on the side of the lady spilling out her phone numbers on a public unsolicited airwaves to unknown and desperately wicked men out there.

Trust me, if I was looking for a wife (as will most guys I know), it will not be through the radio and this is no disrespect to people who probably got married through such channel. People marry through Facebook, twitter and other social networks these days and that is cool because it remains a minute addition to the means through which marriage is contracted. Like I said, exceptions to the rules are accepted and should be encouraged as long as it remains an exception.

Mind you, I am not saying marriages contracted through social media (radio) are wrong or will have issues in the future neither am I saying conventional method of meeting, dating and marrying will be rosy all through but I am just skeptical about encouraging a method that will encourage bad people to take advantage of singles that may be painted as desperate.

See me as the critic of Ego’s radio love show! And to me it is not a radio love show but rather a radio ‘luck’ show. If you are lucky, you just might meet the man/woman who is not bent on ruining your life and leaving you worse than you called in.

What I can advise is; Inspiration FM should open a page on their website and maybe on other social networks where special pages will be dedicated to Love and Dating and people who are serious and want something serious and not dubious will fill in forms and give vital information about themselves. The On air radio show will therefore be a continuation of what people do on the site and a means of encouraging people that are seeking for something serious to go on the site and register.

Ego and Inspiration FM can’t, and I repeat, they can’t act as if it is not their problem or responsibility if people who ‘they’ encouraged to call in to find ‘love’ found pain instead. That is totally unacceptable! What is worth doing at all should be done well. No system is fail proof, people will still lie on this social dating site but at least this means you have gone a bit further to make sure that the bad people that would have had it easy to prey on the innocent find it hard because their pictures and vital information are on the public space for all to see.

That also means Inspiration FM will have accurate data and information of people who use the service and people who it had worked for.

You guys should be paying me for this free consultation jare…

This is not the END! *wink*