THE DANGER ZONE CALLED FRIENDSHIP

James knew when she first met Janet that she was the one for him. He saw in her the woman of his dreams and he didn't hesitate to approach her. She was nice to him and before they knew it they had hit it off.

They spoke frequently on the phone, met twice a week and both knew each other's itinerary without even breaking a fig. They hung out on weekends and saw movies upon movies but….

Janet just came out of a bad relationship and she was not really in the place to start another one in such a jiffy. James thought everything was cool and in his heart he thought they were dating. The charade went on for 5 months and when James noticed that it seemed like things were not moving the direction he wanted, he questioned her. She was forthcoming and told James that "I really like you as a friend, you are a nice guy, cute and all but I don’t love you". That was hard to swallow. To imagine that James was even planning on proposing to her over the weekend, he was shattered.

I have always known that if a guy wants to date a lady, he should never assume that they are dating because of any form of closeness. He must pop the question and no matter how hard she tries to float under the radar, avoiding a definitive answer, he must PERSIST. Women don’t like saying YES to request of the heart. They like to keep their options open especially if they have lot of 'em. So my advice to the guys? Get the YES before you start planning for the long term.

It reminds me of the story of a man who needed to lend some money from his friend. When he got to the friend's house, he met him eating and joined him on the dining table. During the meal another guy came in, called the host aside and asked for money. The host went in, brought out the money and gave it to guy B without guy A's knowledge. Guy A finished eating and said "My friend, thanks for the meal but that is not the real reason I came. I came to borrow some money from you". The host told him he just lent the whole money he had to the guy that came in during the meal. Guy A went home empty handed.

The danger zone called friendship will deplete a guy that had an original plan to date, court or marry a lady. Friendship is important, friendship is key to a successful marriage but friendship will never get you a wife, love will. The reason I say this is because it is easier for a lady that has some form of emotional investment in a relationship to accede to marry the guy than a lady with no emotional involvement. Friendship doesn’t allow for much emotional embankment, between a guy and a girl, friendship will most likely leave the guy a dumping refuse for all the girl's escapade.

So don’t stay in the friendship zone for too long. If you want to date her, tell her. If she says she's thinking about it, keep insisting. Trust me, it is better she tells you NO than you assuming that you guys are in a relationship non-existing. The emotional ball is always in court of the lady but the way and manner she plays it lies in the hand of the guy. Gently nudge her, caress her ego, get angry a little, beg her, frisk her, tackle her but above all LOVE HER. A little deed might be what will finally make her decide and I hope she decide in your favour.

Have a great week ahead!