The 3 ‘D’s Marriage turns her into – Ladies Please!

I am still surprised how my last post ‘3 Things Marriage Turns You Into – For Men Only’ got so much unique clicks and this reflected in comments left behind. A lot of people called me up and spoke glowingly about my writing prowess whilst others chatted me up on BBM saying something similar. In fact I met a new lady on twitter that loved my blog and we have been chatting since Friday.

The thing about blogging for me is that I just love doing it. And I have realized that people can sense when one is real and/or when one is not. I decided to be real the moment I opened my blog page and sometimes my story seem too personal yet if I am convinced it is news worthy, and if it will help someone struggling somewhere, then it’s good by me to be published.

So this next story is that of my wife. We got married in August this year and after studying her for a while I can point out 3 things marriage has turned her into.

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1)      Dependent:

Don’t ponder for too long on the word, it is not meant to be derogatory at all. Once a lady gets married, she looks up to her man for EVERYTHING! Gosh! That can be tiring yet fun. She waits for me to come and switch on the generator even if she is feeling hot in the house. She waits till I come back from office before having dinner. She wants us to have our bath together. She wouldn’t change the bulb when it needs change because I am supposed to be the one to change it; after all I am the MAN of the house.

A woman becomes dependent on her husband as soon as she becomes married. This was someone who lived alone before we married oooo! Hmmm!!! The man is NOW the essence of her being and she feels comfortable knowing that he is ready to do everything just to make her comfortably happy. She is not lazy, far from that but she wants to be pampered, loved, cared for and treated like a lady.

Why should she change the light bulb? Or why should she switch on the generator when power fails? She is a lady remember? That type of job should be for the man. Now I see reasons why a woman’s car will break down on the bridge miles away and the first person she will call is her husband instead of the mechanic. Women were not made for the hard life. They are specially crafted to be cared for and never to be left alone (ask Adam what happened when he left Eve for too long alone; …and the serpent came along! Looool)

Sometimes my wife will come in from an occasion and ask me to help her remove her shoes because she is too tired and yours truly obliges. Why? Because the more I pamper her (at least before the children comes in between) the more memories we create and share later in life.

Boundaries should never be created in marriage; it stifles the life of such union and makes it too rigid to enjoy it.

2)      Demanding:

The best part of this is that she demands mostly your time. Trust me, no matter how much you give her of yourself, your wife still thinks she deserves more. So, no more weekend meetings, rehearsals or whatever you do as extracurricular stuff because she wants you besides her ALL the time.

I was surprised this last Saturday when I was out of the house for more than 4 hours and I didn’t receive a call from my wife about my whereabouts. When I got home I realized she was asleep and just woke up as I walked in. She would have called me and moaned on the phone and somehow blackmailed me to rush home. Sometimes it can be stressful not having the freedom to be free but the truth is if your wife is your best friend, what other friend do you need?

Don’t get me wrong, she is not keen on making you stay home all weekend but if she can, she wouldn't mind. Does she demand for money and stuff? Yes she does, that’s why she is my WIFE. *wink*

3)      Diligent:

When I checked the definition of the word diligent in my mobile Merriem-Webster Dictionary what I saw vividly paints the woman I married. It says, “Characterized by steady, earnest, and energetic effort: painstaking <a diligent wife>”. 11 words that are forever branded in my memory, exacting the true essence of a woman in a union called marriage.

 She doesn’t complain when it comes to what she ‘knows’ is her responsibilities in the home. She might be visibly tired, yet she asks, ‘honey, what would you want to eat?’ Last night we were watching the TV together and I just noticed she stood up and left for the kitchen. She was there for over 15 minutes and I went to see what she was doing. Scrapping carrots! I told her, ‘baby, you could have brought this to the parlour since its just scrapping’ and she replied, ‘I don’t want the particles to stain the sofa and floor’.

She stood for more than 15 minutes, denying herself of comfort just so that she doesn’t litter the parlour. That is being earnest and putting in energetic effort so that our home can be suitable for both of us to be comfortable. It’s not a big fuss really but if you live with someone who loves his/her space to be clean all the time, then a diligent wife is all you need. Oh sorry, you just may never know until you marry her.

This may not be same for some people reading this article but that is simply because you didn’t create the ambience for such elements to thrive. I have seen and heard of many homes that are similar to that of what obtains in a typical Lagos garage. So I am very sure not all homes will give room for mutual respect and peace to solidify but only if you can try, it takes a lot of effort especially if it’s not in your nature but there’s no harm in trying.

Till I write again, I leave you with words of encouragement if you are married, LOVE HER/HIM MORE TODAY!

Shalom!