5 "A's" OF LOVING UNCONDITIONALLY by Emem Uffang

1) Action: Think of love as an action and not a feeling: A feeling is something that we have for someone and when we stop having it, due to circumstances that changes all the time, we often change our behaviour towards that person. If we have to go out of our way to do something for someone in order to receive love, that love is unconditional - Stephanies Dowrick "love is not love until it is generous".

2. Assess: Always ask yourself what is the most loving thing that another person can do for you at any given time, then do that to the person you are in love with. Unconditional love is a new decision you need to make in every situation and not a fast rule because the situations will always be different at every time. You must take the conscious effort to always assess your decision before and after you take it. 

3. Avoid: Love is not all about making someone comfortable all the time. Yeah, this sound shocking right? But it is correct.
Some people acknowledge that pain and discomfort are part of growth and if you shield someone from all pain or discomfort in the guise of love, you might not be loving them afterall. Avoid cringing their privacy, let them share it if they want, if they don't, don't force them. Avoid over-loving someone. True love actually let go and not hold on unnecessarily.

4. Allow: Forgiveness, according to wikipedia, is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets' go of negative emotions such as revenge, with an increased ability to wish the offender well. When you intend to love unconditionally, you must allow forgiveness to be one of the most important ingredient in such relationship. Because we come from different background and have different mindset, you must be ready to forgive anytime, every time and all the time.

5. Attain: Lastly, a lover must attain the lofty heights of happiness, joy and peace. If you claim to be in love yet you are  unhappy, sad and always gloomy, trust me, you need to re-assess your stand. You need to always seek to attain a place of inner peace with or without a calm outer space. Attainment only means you have come to a conclusion on a matter of the heart and here is where you believe. The moment you don't feel that way, go in search of it till you get it.

Emem Uffang is a graduate of Federal Polytechnic, Nekede Owerri. She resides in Lagos State.