Sexual satisfaction is one of germane reasons relationships
are strong, cordial and long lasting. Good
sex may not necessarily be as a result of long hours spent in bed making love, but it has been said that at
least it should last not less than half an hour. (no be me talk am)
So why do we have men who seldom satisfy their spouses? And I
am not talking of men that can’t get their John Doe up, I mean the ones who’s
john doe is working effectively yet can’t satisfy their women. I know a lot of
people think it’s about how big it is; let me disappoint you, that’s a big lie!
It is really not about how big the John Doe is but about how “effectively” it
can work. And by ‘effectively’ I mean
to say connectivity, position and duration.
Okay, don’t call me a sex doctor yet. I have simply done some
research and because I am a keen observer too, I can say I have used my own
experience in the survey likewise *wink*. And remember this is not infinite in
itself because sex with an intimate partner is about daily discovery; you can
keep developing the idea through observation and informed actions.
Now back to the question. Why do we have more men unable to satisfy
their women these days? Yeah, the number keeps increasing and don’t ask me how I
know that.
So below I have identifies 3 reasons men don’t satisfy their
women in bed and also hope the solutions I give are candid (given that I am not
yet married).
Reason 1:
Stress:
This is a massive yet silent killer of sexual activity in the
bedroom. Dr. Logan Levkoff, Sexologist and AASECT-certified sexuality educator
says, ‘I can tell you that when I'm
stressed, I'm not that pleasant to be around. And when it comes to sex, stress
makes your sex life suffer’. Merriem Webster defines stress as ‘a state of
mental tension and worry caused by problems in your
life, work, etc’ and ‘something that causes strong feelings of worry
or anxiety’.
So stress can kill of libido and make your sex life
unpleasantly hellish. Some say that men don’t have to worry because stress won’t
affect their sex life but that is also false. Depending on the level of stress,
for example, a man that just got fired at the office, or a man about to birth
his own company, or a man just being told about something very worrying will have
little or no drive for sex at that particular point in time. And if he fails to
share the news with his spouse makes it worse because she might just not
understand the reason for now being sexually active.
Solution?
Have SEX! Oh yeah! It’s a simple case of the-answer-is-in-the-puzzle.
According to Dr. Levkoff, “In fact, stress is one of those weird issues that
can not only affect your sex life, but also be alleviated by having sex. So if
you want to get rid of stress, why don't you just go have sex?” yea, she said
it I didn’t but I can say that I believe her.
Just to add though, I would say that you can make do with what
I call “communicative sex”, where you get to talk through making love. Call her
pet names while at it and after sex, while lying on the bed before cleaning up,
you can discuss your fears, aspirations and goals too. It will help soothe the
wounded emotions and restore confidence in your sex and daily life again.
The effects of stress are insidious. It takes a toll on your
physical, emotional and relationship health, probably more than you realize. Get
it off with good sex!
Reason 2:
Bad Diet
Bad diet can reduce a man’s libido and his inability to
balance his diet can cause him to ejaculate on time. The Times of India
published a report stipulating that ‘consumption
of sugar-sweetened beverages can interfere with genes... (And) all of these
health issues result in poor libido.’ They further listed about 8 types of
foods that affects sex drive and trust me, we are susceptible to it all. These
foods are called “xeno-estrogens ("bad" estrogens from the
environment and food)” which “could contribute to sexual dysfunction and Coffee
mood swings too”. For more of the write ups you can visit this site.
Solution?
Make sure you are conscious of what you eat and balance it
out regularly. I personally take local herbs that help counter the sugar level
in the body thereby reducing anti-bodies especially the ones that causes low
sex drive *wink*.
Reason 3
Love Lost!
Okay, isn’t this obvious? A man who suddenly has fallen out
of love with his spouse, wife or girlfriend will have no measure of libido to
function. He probably sees you as an enemy and would not want to have sex with
you or the sex will be tasteless if ever there is one. There are many marriages
this days that man and wife don’t have sex. I was opportune to listen to
scolding from a wife to her husband where I used to stay. He had just been
caught by his wife sleeping with a minor and she let all hell lose by telling
those who cared to listen that her husband hasn’t touched her for 4 years! Wow!
Four years? Who does that?
But that is the reality in most relationships and once love
is lost, sex is useless.
Solution?
Seek out a good counselor to help you revive your
relationship or just get the heck out of it if it’s not yet nuptial-tied (if
you know what I mean).
I hope I helped a little? If not, you probably have a
spiritual problem. LOL
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